My husband does not live in the country with us thanks to the wonderful immigration process we are currently going through. In January I gave birth to our son, his first child, and while he was able to attend via Skype, unfortunately, he was not able to be with us in person to experience the joy of his son being brought into this world (although, he was just as ecstatic as I'm sure he would have been had he been there physically). These past few months have proven to be a little more difficult than I had expected.
For years I was a single mom to five children, so when we found out that he was not going to be able to be here at the beginning of our son's life, I was not afraid. After all, I had raised five children on my own already. How difficult could it be this time around? Little did I know!
I miss my husband greatly... far more than I could ever express in words on a blog. While I am so thankful for our son being able to have "communication" with his Papi through Skype, it still is not the same as it would be were he here with us. It breaks my heart every time Baby D does something new and his Papi isn't getting to see it and experience it with us. I try to keep in mind that this really is such a small fraction of Baby D's life and Papi will be able to make up for it eventually, but there are times, like this week, that thought doesn't give me much comfort. I want to be with my husband. I want Baby D to be with his papi. I want my daughters to have that father figure they have grown to love and trust.
During these grey periods, all I have to hold on to is my love I have for my husband and my family; and most importantly, the faith that I have in God that somehow, someway this whole situation is going to work out and we are going to be together again.